George vs the Dragon
by Galaxy1001D
Summary: In King Arthur's Camelot, young Squire George must find a magic ring to stop a dragon from terrorizing England, but finds out the hard way that a dragon has no fury like a woman scorned.


**George vs. the Dragon**

by Galaxy1001D

"Hear ye, Hear ye, this meeting of the Knights of the Round Table is now in session," Sir Kay, the king's seneschal and second in command announced.

"Thank you, Sir Kay," Arthur nodded before he flipped through the stack of parchment and vellum before him. "Given the current emergency, I think it is appropriate to dispense with the old business and move on immediately to the crisis at hand. Is everyone agreed?"

"Aye," the greatest knights in the land chorused.

"Any opposed?" the king asked. When silence greeted him, he nodded curtly. "Very well. Sir Lancelot, would you be so good as to update everyone on the emergency?"

"I would be honored to, my liege," Lancelot nodded. He rose from his seat at the great round table. "My lords, for many years Camelot has been protected by a great golden dragon against supernatural threats and foreign invasion. This has freed us up to unite and civilize England and bring it out of the dark age that followed after the fall of Rome. Unfortunately, Goldenfire, the great gold dragon seems to have had a change of heart. As of late the great wyrm has pillaged the countryside and kidnapped and devoured the most beautiful maidens in the kingdom."

"Boy am I glad I'm married!" Queen Guinevere looked up from her needlework to comment.

"As are we all, my dear," King Arthur nodded, "but please, Sir Lancelot had the floor. I'm sorry, Sir Lancelot?"

"Think nothing of it, my liege," Lancelot nodded. "The queen has a right to be worried. So far the dragon has focused its ire on unmarried women but that could change at any moment. What is most puzzling is what has caused this dreadful behavior by such a noble creature who seemed to be sent by Heaven Itself."

"I sense the supernatural at work here," Arthur steepled his fingers in thought. "Lord Merlin, as Camelot's foremost expert on the supernatural and the arcane could you shed some light upon the mystery that has transformed England's greatest blessing into our worst curse."

The robed wizard looked up from the sphere of clear crystal he had been staring into since the meeting began. "What? Oh sorry, your majesty. Yes. So far my investigations have indicated that Goldenfire has been affected by a dreadful curse placed upon it by your mortal enemy, Morgan le Fay."

"But this is a dragon, Merlin!" the king exclaimed incredulously. "Surely such a powerful being is immune to any enchantment that we puny mortals could inflict upon it."

"Ah, but Morgan did use her own enchantment," Merlin explained. "She used an ancient artifact to use Goldenfire's own talents against it."

"Explain," the king leaned back in his chair quietly.

"As you know, Goldenfire can assume nearly any form imaginable, as long as it's an animal of some kind," Merlin continued. "It can even assume human form, and in this way it can interact with the mere mortals that inhabit the land."

"Yes…" Arthur nodded.

"Well, it seems that Morgan found an ancient artifact called a helm of alignment changing. It is a device that can alter the ethics and personality of anyone who wears it into the exact opposite of its original state. For example, it could turn the basest villain into a paragon of virtue. It could turn a coward into a hero. It could turn a sinner into a saint…"

"And it could turn an enlightened ruler into a despot," Arthur finished for him. "It could turn a valorous knight into a vile blackguard. And it could turn a noble dragon into a fire breathing monster."

"Indeed," Merlin nodded. "Like any weapon it can be used for good or evil. So far I haven't been able to determine exactly how Morgan got that thing on its head, but it must have been while it was in human form."

"Oh boy," King Arthur sighed wearily. "Discussion?"

"With respect your majesty, the dragon is but one creature," Sir Gawaine suggested. "Surely we could raise an army that could slay this creature or drive it from our midst."

"Sir Gawaine, the dragon can fly, breathe fire, cast spells and its claws and teeth can rend through armor like a catapult through a straw shack," Sir Tristram countered. "Even if we managed to slay the beast, I'd hate to think of the sorry state England would be in with no knights to protect her. The losses would be incalculable."

"Not only that, but the dragon is the _victim_ here," Gareth of Orkeny added. "In its natural state, it is a noble and virtuous creature, an example for all of us to aspire to. It's not its fault that some evil sorceress found an ancient artifact that could curse it."

"And the death of Goldenfire would cost England its air superiority," Sir Hector added.

"Merlin, I don't suppose that we could simply take the helm off," Sir Kay asked the wizard.

"Not that easy," Merlin sighed. "Once the enchantment is upon you, it does no good to take the helmet off. The curse must be broken by an enchantment of equal or greater power."

"Morgan used an ancient artifact to bring this curse upon us," Lancelot pointed out. "Do we possess an artifact with the power to break it?"

"Yes, on our quest for the Holy Grail we've brought back many magical items of various levels of power," Sir Alisander added.

"Well, now that you mention it, my divinations have revealed to me an object that should be able to reverse the effects of the helm and restore Goldenfire to normal," the wizard admitted.

"Well don't just sit there, man!" Lancelot exclaimed. "Tell us! Tell us before another fair damsel meets her doom!"

The wizard seemed embarrassed. "It is… the Ring of Matrimonial Bliss," he admitted ruefully.

"The Ring of Matrimonial Bliss!" Lancelot cheered. "Of course! We recovered the ring from that troll in France! It has the power to end wars and unite kingdoms! Surely it can reverse what happened to Goldenfire!"

"We gave it to you for safekeeping as I remember," Sir Kay smiled. "So Merlin old boy, what did you do with it?"

Both Merlin and Arthur looked pale. Arthur looked at his shoes, and then glanced at the court wizard. Merlin let out a long sigh. "I put it in the safest place in the kingdom. I entrusted it to a guardian beyond reproach."

"Excellent," smiled the enthusiastic Lancelot. "So go back to this guardian and tell him you need it back. Wait…" The handsome knight couldn't help but see the grave and sickly look on Merlin and Arthur's faces. "This guardian isn't in another dimension it he? One that can only be reached by the full moon every seven years or something?"

"No," Arthur shook his head, "I assure you that it is definitely on this terrestrial plane."

"So what is the matter?" Lancelot asked.

"I gave it to Goldenfire," Merlin said stiffly. "As his majesty said, it seemed immune to any enchantments that mere mortals could bring against it. Goldenfire's lair seemed the safest place."

"Saints and Angels preserve us," Lancelot muttered as he lowered his face into his hands.

Sir Kay smiled and shook his head at the irony. "So what you are saying is the only known way to restore Goldenfire to its good and lawful self is in fact, guarded by the gold dragon itself. Am I right?"

"That would be the gist, yes," nodded a chagrined Merlin.

"So you see the challenge before us, my lords," Arthur said with bitter amusement. "Somehow we've got to sneak in and procure the ring and break the spell on Goldenfire. Any ideas?"

"It's obvious that Goldenfire will spy an army a mile off," Sir Kay muttered. "I hate to say it, but one man stands a better chance than a hundred."

"I'll go!" Sir Lancelot cried. "I can sneak in there!"

"With respect Lance, you are about as stealthy as an ox with bells attached to its nether regions," King Arthur told him. "And besides, Goldenfire can recognize all of us by scent. Those huge nostrils can outdo a bloodhound you know."

"So we are going to need a total unknown," Kay frowned.

"I'll go," said a young voice at the door.

"George, with respect you are still a squire, and a new one at that," Arthur shook his head. "You were only a page boy last year. It would be murder to send you out on a task like this."

"But I'm expendable," young George insisted. "I'm a man you can afford to lose. Goldenfire doesn't know me. And I don't like to brag, but I can be quite stealthy."

"No you can't," Queen Guinevere commented with out looking up from her needlework. "Several ladies-in-waiting have seen you looking in through their windows, and I've caught you spying on me when I was dressing twice."

George gulped in fear.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "I ought to put you to death for spying on my wife, but instead I'll honor your request. Go to Goldenfire's cave and recover the Ring of Matrimonial Bliss and your crimes will be pardoned. Fail and don't bother coming back."

"Good luck George," Lancelot waved.

"You're going to need it," Kay told him.

As George left the great hall, a buxom blonde damsel with golden topaz eyes came over to him. "George!" the girl called. "What do you think of my new hat? It really accents my beautiful golden hair, don't you think?"

"It's fine Lady Goldilocks," George told her, "but I have bigger things to worry about than your new hat."

"You men are always ignoring me!" the girl frowned. "It's because of my freaky yellow eyes, isn't it? You all think that I'm possessed or something because of my freaky yellow eyes, admit it!"

"It has nothing to do with your eyes," George told her. "Sometimes responsibilities come first."

"If it weren't for women there wouldn't be any men in the world!" Goldilocks shouted as he walked away. "Without women there are no children, and without children there are no adults! And then there wouldn't be any men to ignore us women would there? Would there?"

George almost immediately forgot her. His mind was on the dragon.

* * *

Two days later, he and Merlin were on a hill, hidden in a copse of trees, looking down at the cave mouth of Goldenfire the dragon. Tied to a wooden stake before the cave's mouth was a young woman.

"Who's that?" George asked the wizard.

"Some poor girl the dragon is using as bait," Merlin answered. "It seems to have it in for knights and uses the helpless damsel routine to lure them to their doom."

"Does it work?" the lad asked.

"All too well," Merlin sighed.

"Any spells or enchantments that you can give me to increase my chances?"

"Goldenfire and I swore a vow that prevents our spells from directly affecting each other," the wizard explained. "I could cast spells on you but then it would detect the enchantment on you and its guard would be up. I don't know what I could give you besides advice."

"Okay, let's just say I get a hold of the Ring of Matrimonial Bliss," George supposed, "what if the dragon catches up with me? How do I break the curse before I'm meat?"

"Present the ring to Goldenfire and the curse will be broken," Merlin told him.

"That's it?" George blinked. "I'm to steal the ring only to give it back to it? You have to give it back the right way don't you?"

"You got that right," Merlin sighed. "Otherwise there won't be enough left of you to bury with a teaspoon."

"Great," George sighed as he walked out of the woods.

As he walked forwards, the maiden tied to the stake called out. "You who! Oh you who! Could you help me please? I'm not a witch or anything; there's been a huge misunderstanding! Could you please untie me?"

"That depends," George said. "Is there a spell cast on your bindings that will alert the dragon the moment you are free?"

The woman's face fell. "Oh you know about the dragon," she said. "I don't know, probably."

"Here's my knife," he said as he handed it to her. "I have to sneak in there and if I free you it might give me away. If you're still here when I come back I'll free you myself, deal?"

"Deal," she said. "Good luck, be careful."

"Why didn't you tell me about the dragon?" George asked her.

"Every time I tell my rescuer about the dragon they take off and tell me I'm on my own," she said. "Nobody wants to take the chance."

"I guess that figures," George said as he walked into the cave.

Inside the cave were glowing spots from the walls as if the cavern were lit by torches. No actual torches could be seen, so magic must have been used. Soon a spectacular pile of gold and jewels became visible. "That's an obvious test for thieves," George muttered to himself. He looked behind a tapestry and saw a section of the wall that was colored different from the rest.

As he pondered this clue, he heard the beating of wings and smelled the stench of brimstone. He peered from behind the tapestry to see a magnificent golden reptile enter the cave and land on top of the gold.

The creature was huge, the size of a small cottage. It had four legs, a long tail and wings growing out of its back. It looked at one of the walls and hissed a phrase in an inhuman language. A hidden portal opened up to reveal a room lit by magic. Before George's eyes, the dragon's form melted and shrunk until it was replaced by a buxom human girl.

"Humph!" the girl said. "What is it going to take? I can't believe those guys! It makes me so mad!"

The hidden room was apparently some sort of closet for inside was a lot of human clothes in various styles. The girl searched through the clothing to find a style she liked and came upon a jewelry box.

"The Ring of Matrimonial Bliss," she spat. "What a worthless trinket! Everybody knows that I'm never going to be married!" With that she tossed the little box behind her and it bounced off the pile of gold to slide over to the tapestry where George was hiding.

It was too good to be true! Merlin had told him that it was nearly impossible to hide from a dragon; their senses were too keen. Apparently, in human form, Goldenfire's senses weren't any better than a normal person's. Better yet, Goldenfire didn't seem to be interested in the Ring of Matrimonial Bliss at all, and had inadvertently revealed its hiding place. Now if only he could get his muscles to work he could seize the ring and get out of here!

As Goldfire draped outfits over her now human body, George crawled forward on all fours desperately trying to be quiet. His hand closed around the little box and he felt a zing of excitement. He had succeeded in his quest! Now all he needed to do was get back to Camelot alive…

It was then that he found himself face to face with two feet. He looked up to see an angry blonde girl staring down at him. He couldn't believe it, she looked just like…

"Goldilocks!" he gasped. "I can't believe it's you! _You're_ the dragon?"

"Yeah, I'm the dragon," she sneered. "You just figured that out? So, we have a thief, do we? So much for responsibilities coming first! You came here to steal from me, haven't you?"

"What? No! No! Of course not!" George cried.

"Yeah right," she said bitterly. "Tell me another one."

"Goldilocks… I mean… Goldenfire, why are you doing this?" His only hope was to keep her talking.

"Why am I doing this?" she asked. "Why am I doing what?"

"Why are you kidnapping maidens and using them to lure knights to their deaths?" George didn't bother rising to his feet. To be honest, he was afraid to move.

"Isn't it obvious?" she said. "I'm tired of being ignored! The reason I left China and came to this miserable island is because I believed in Arthur's vision of justice and chivalry. I found the whole idea of knights serving the people instead of subjugating them worth protecting! I found your quest to improve yourselves from within inspiring! And… I found the whole idea of valiant knights rescuing damsels romantic…"

Tears flowed out of her golden eyes as she continued. "There… there aren't many dragons this far out west. I got lonely. I wanted to marry a valiant knight of my own. Was that so wrong? I assumed human form and tried to get your attention. But all of you men ignored me! One look at my strange golden eyes and all of you looked elsewhere! I can't help it! No matter what I change into my eyes are always golden! It's fine for a cat or a dragon but for a human it looks just plain freaky!"

"I…" George stammered.

"I tried changing my hairstyle. I tried different clothing! Finally I had to seek the advice of the most seductive woman in the kingdom, Morgan le Fay. She may be an evil witch, but everybody knows that she is the greatest seductress in the British Isles!"

"So how did it go?" George asked realizing that when Goldilocks… correction… _Goldenfire_ stopped talking his life would end.

"It was great," Goldenfire said without smiling. "She gave me a beauty makeover, and did my hair and my nails. Gave me new dress and a new hat and a beautiful pair of shoes. I was dressed to kill."

"A new hat," George's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Do you think that Morgan knew who you were?"

"I don't see how," Goldenfire shrugged. "I was in human form, how could she?"

"Uh, maybe by realizing that no matter what form you change into, your eyes are always that same topaz yellow?" George suggested.

"Yes!" Goldenfire stamped her foot. "You're right! No wonder she was so nice to me! She was just kissing up! Oh well, no matter! It didn't work! Nobody loves me! So now you're all going to pay!"

George swallowed nervously. He had heard enough bard's tales to know that whenever someone said that everyone was going to pay they were working themselves up to do something drastic.

"So, George, before I fry you to a crisp and use your body fats to make my soap, what are you doing here? Did you follow me or something?"

"What? Yes!" George thought quickly. "I uh… followed you here! I was working up the courage to propose to you."

"To propose?" Asked the skeptical dragon/girl.

"Yes," he said as he opened the box to display the ring. "Goldilocks, will you marry me?"

Tears trickled down her cheeks as her breath came in exhausted pants. "Y-yes…" she sobbed. She covered her face with her arm and extended her hand to him.

George rose to his knees and placed the ring on her finger.

"Why George, it's beautiful!" She sighed. "I've never been so happy! Oh! Omigod! What have I been doing? I've been terrorizing the countryside! I'm so ashamed!" She fell to her knees and sobbed into her hands.

"Don't be," George told her. "It wasn't your fault. You were enchanted. You weren't yourself."

"I broke my vow to King Arthur," she sniveled. "I can never show my face around here again. When the dragons back home find out, they will come out here to punish me."

"Uh, we don't have to let that happen," George offered. "We can make it look like you died. We'll tell everybody that I slew the dragon."

"Don't be stupid, George," Goldilocks sneered. "Who would believe a silly story like that?"

* * *

Two days later, back in Camelot: "All hail George, the dragon slayer!" the knights chorused.

"That is incredible, George," Lancelot said, clapping him on the back. "How did you do it?"

"Uh, Merlin created a magic sword for me, and Goldilocks brought into the cave for me," he said. "While wearing the ring, the dragon's flames couldn't harm me. When I thrust the sword into the dragon's neck, both the sword and dragon burst into flames and disintegrated.

"That's fantastic," Lancelot said. "Merlin?" he called up to the wizard who was speaking in hushed tones to the king. "Is that true?"

"So you see, Goldenflame is going to have to hide in human form, as Lady Goldilocks," Merlin explained to Arthur. "What?" he called over to Lancelot. "Oh yes. Every word of it."

"Congratulations George," King Arthur announced from his throne. "You seem to have done the impossible. I hereby pardon you of your past offenses, and grant you the title of knight with all the lands, powers and responsibilities that go with it. On one condition."

"Er, one condition, your majesty?" George asked.

"That you marry Lady Goldilocks of course," Arthur smiled evilly. "In exchange you will be granted possession of all of the lands and treasures formerly held by Goldenflame, if Lady Goldilocks will have you. Is this to your liking my lady?"

"Oh yes," Goldilocks smiled and jumped up and down excitedly. "I accept your majesty!"

"Very well then," Arthur smiled. "We'll have the knighting ceremony tomorrow and my scribes can draw up the paperwork. Keep an eye on him, Lady Goldilocks. Rumor has it that he likes to look in ladies' windows."

Laughter filled the hall.

"Oh don't worry, my liege," Goldilocks smiled evilly. "He won't dare."

"He sure won't," George groaned.

Arthur laughed again. "I have no doubt. With you to look after him, his soul will be so spotless that someday he will qualify for sainthood."

More laughter filled the hall.

END


End file.
